2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
