Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
