There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
