$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
