Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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