Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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