We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
