Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
