she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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