Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
