You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
