Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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