I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
