So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i came on her dog
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
