your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Princesses don't give blow jobs
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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