He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
