aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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