I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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