the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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