Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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