belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize