Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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