I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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