just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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