THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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