i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
