I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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