He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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