New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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