I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
