I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
