I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
