I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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