why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize