You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
