I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
