I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize