we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
