@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
