I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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