i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize