alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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