I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
