need another drink. this is the easiest way
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
