ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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