i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
