i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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