I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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