it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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