wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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