If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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