you win again, gameday.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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