I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize