I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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