She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
