My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
