So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
