Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
